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Ares501 - Mr Green
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Al Bundy Quotes

• No, Peg
• Let's rock.
• Go away, Peg.
• A fat woman came to the shoestore today...
• I'm the only guy in the world who has to wake up to have a nightmare.
• A man's home is his coffin.
• Women - can't live with them.... The End.
• Women - can't live with them, can't herd them all to Canada.
• WOMEN - can't live with them...can't kill them
• Entertainment for the cave man was simple: Man kills food, woman burns it, giant pterodactyl swoops down, chases woman, woman falls in mud. A good laugh is had by all.
• Peg, I suspect your mind, much like the lost continent of Atlantis, no longer appears on any map.
• I hate life, life hates me.
• I'm so upset I can hardly eat this sandwich! (He says so but eats the sandwich anyway)
• I'm so hungry I could eat a vegetable!
• I feel so good--I'm almost happy.
• Am I truly nothing? Could the neighborhood children be right?
• Now wait a second. My pretty teenage daughter--with the brain of a fruit-fly--earned a thousand dollars in three nights... should I be worried?
• The only power I sensed was that of the mighty forces unleashed by beans!
• Ok, here's another idea. Let's toss this in the oven and see if it bakes. There's a shoe-salesman in the 23rd century. It's called Shoe Trek.
• Peg, you can stab me with knives, you can beat me with clubs, you can make me open my eyes when we're having sex, but there's no way on earth you can make me get a second job.
• The opera isn't over until the last heterosexual falls asleep.
• The last thing a guy wants to look at at the end of the day is a woman.
• How about if I get my gun and shoot you with a nice silver bullet?
• Back then mother meant cooking but then, gay meant happy.
• Why doesn't the world die?
• I was driving home, God knows why...
• I hate my life. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't bury the wife in the backyard.
• Peg, feed me, or feed me TO something: I just want to be part of the food chain. 
• It's only cheating if you get caught.
• Sure selling shoes is fun. But behind the glamour, it's like any other minimum wage slow death.
• Damn, does my life suck!
• But Peg, we've been married for seventeen years - can't we just be friends?
• Sorry, Peg, I didn't hear you. I was thinking of killing myself.
• Peg, can you explain to her the difference between expend and earning? Who I am asking to, of course you can't !
• You think I'm a loser? Because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, and a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every day when I wake up in the morning, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep. So I get up. I have my watered-down Tang and my still-frozen Pop Tart. I get in my car with no gas, no upholstery, and six more payments. I fight honking traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes onto the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I wanted to. I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. And I'll never know the joy of driving through the city without a bag over my head. But I'm not a loser. Because, despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what they wanted to be, is out there, being what we don't want to be, forty hours a week, for life. And the fact that I haven't put a gun in my mouth, you pudding of a woman, makes me a winner!
• Home sweet hell.
• Just say no to marriage

:0)))

Damian