Horological Meandering

PuristS interview - Saint Nicholas...

 

Amongst our number is a very famous collector indeed. He is too universally 'claimed' to be able to stand up and declare as a POTW, but you may enjoy this interview with him, given to an anonymous PPro correspondent just as he is preparing to deliver something to each of you.....

1. How did you discover PuristS?

 

A few years ago one of my more mischievous elves went AWOL during our busiest time. I received an anonymous tip-off from a friend in LA which led me to believe that he might have been hiding out there, so I grabbed a rope, saddled up Rudolph and flew down there straight away. To cut a long story short, it was a case of mistaken identity – I very nearly kidnapped Thomas Mao instead of my missing elf. To be fair to my snitch, the mistake was perfectly understandable – I mean, have you seen Thomas??? He carries on like an elf as well – I could hardly shut him up, asking for this Lamborghini, that AP, a new Hasselblad, etc etc etc.. My ears were bleeding - to get away I had to promise to make a patron’s contribution to The PuristS and I have been a Purist ever since.

 

2. What watch are you wearing today?

 

I was inspired by Svend Andersen, amongst others, to commission a watch which simultaneously reminds me of my family and one of my favourite pastimes.  I’m wearing this spritely little number today to remind me that Mrs Claus expects me home early on Christmas Day:

 

 

3. Is there a single element in a watch that is most important to you, and why?

 

Are you serious? I live at the North Pole – what do you think is the most important element of a watch for me? Let me give you a hint: my collection includes the JLC Geophysique, the Rolex Explorer and the Alpina Avalanche.

 

4. What other hobbies do you have?

 

Well, I have a section of the workshop dedicated to my newest interest, watchmaking. With a little help from Don Corson I have come up with a few designs of my own which I plan to release in time for IGOTT2 –

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
5. Which watch has most recently captured your attention and why?

 

 

For all the wrong reasons – the Grand Seiko. One of your contributors has being doing a very objective ‘reveal’ – a mystery series of only 25 posts about the Grand Seiko. Someone needs to tell him that I have a mortgage on ‘mystery’ and the number ‘25’.

 

 

6. Tell us, how did you come to be in this job?

 

Ho, ho, ho, that’s a long story!!!

 

I was born to do this job!

 

 

It all began in Myra back in the 4^th Century sometime: unfortunately the perpetual calendar complication hadn’t been invented yet, so I can’t be more precise. I worked in the Church for a while (it was that or take up farming…) and as a joke some of the guys down at the tavern nominated me for sainthood. It was just a bit of a laugh, really, but I ended up elected unopposed and next thing I know I’m ‘Saint Nicholas’, the patron saint of archers, sailors, pawnbrokers and children.

 

I moved to the Netherlands sometime in the middle ages looking for a quieter life. They weren’t too good at pronouncing my name and it became ‘Sinterklaas’. The working conditions were much better though: I didn’t have to worry too much about the archers or the pawnbrokers, and the Dutch just needed me to work one night a year delivering presents or lumps of coal to children.

 

When the Americas were discovered (I said to Chris Columbus “Don’t go there Chris – you have no idea what you’ll be starting…) I moved over there to see what all the fuss was about. Another move, another name change – that’s where I became ‘Santa Claus’, and the name has kinda stuck – there, at least. That place is bedlam! They had me doing all sorts of things – mostly advertising or marketing –

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All that smoking was bad for my health, though, so I moved up to the North Pole in about 1866 and I have been there ever since.

 

Still, you get fat and lazy when you only have to work one day a year. People kept leaving things out for me to eat and drink, and of course it’s rude not to take what’s offered. So I stacked on the weight (as you can see) and I drank all sorts of things: milk, soda, port, whisky, brandy – you name it. The booze seemed to help Christmas Eve go by a little faster, so I started to drink a bit more. I hit the bottle, I hit it hard:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then of course there was ‘that’ incident:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I got a five stretch; fortunately, the elves were able to hire some Hollywood has-been to cover my route for the duration:

 

 

 

 

After prison I lost my way for a while. When not doing the delivery job I wandered the world, moving from one troublespot to another, picking fights with anyone who looked at me sideways.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I got good at fighting; I became a mercenary, a gun for hire…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then one day I met Virginia….

 

 

 

 

She didn’t believe in me at first, but we kept up a correspondence and it all sort of developed from there. She’s been my better half since 1897!

 

 

 

 

7. How do you manage to get something to everyone overnight?

 

Well, you have to have well-organised packaging and transportation crews. For many years I worked with elves, but they were just too mischievous and ugly. I tried covering them up –

 

 

 

 

- but after the LA escapade I still couldn’t get the image of Thomas Mao out of my mind. I now have a much more agreeable HR recruitment policy: I just select carefully some of the naughtier names on the ‘naughty’ list –

 

 

 

 

Transportation is a bit more difficult.  You have to audition thousands of reindeer before you can find animals with a suitable temperament and skill set: flying takes a bit of talent, you know –

 

 

 

 

Still, we have a policy at the North Pole that nothing ever goes to waste, so even the failed candidates do something useful around Christmas time –

 

 

 

 

 

 

A couple of years ago some smart and nasty little kid found the reindeer stables and took Rudolph hostage. I called in the hostage negotiation team, naturally, but it didn’t end well:

 

 

 

 

Since then I have had to put Dancer, Dasher, Prancer, Vixen, Comet and Cupid into the witness protection program. Dunder and Blixem changed their names to Donner and Blitzen and ran away together to Mexico. That was going to present a few logistical problems, but those cunning German engineers came to the rescue in the “Nick” of time –

 

 

 

 

8. We can keep a secret; have you given any thought to the gifts you might leave for the Moderators this year?

 

Actually, I have a few of them sorted, but a few still to go. Tell me if you think I have got it right so far.

 

SJX:

 

 

 

 

DRMW:

 

 

 

 

Anthony Tsai:

 

 

 

 

Ping Tsai:

 

 

 

 

DaosB:

 

 

 

 

Dr No:

 

 

 

 

 

 

AndrewD:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thomas Mao:

 

(Maybe now he’ll shut up about that new Lambo he wants) –

 

 

 

 

Amanico:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MTF:

 

 

 

 

Kong:

 

(She won’t get away this time, Kong!)

 

 

 

Marcus Hanke:

 

 

 

 

 

9. Finally, what does Santa himself want for Christmas?

 

Well, world peace, naturally; an affordable AHCI piece for IGOTT2; a reindeer pooper scooper; some ‘quality time’ with Virginia, and maybe some more work by Mo -  to see what I mean click here   

 

 

You know where you can find me –

 

 

 

 

Ho Ho Ho, PuristS everywhere: season’s greetings to you all, whoever your gods and demons may be!!!

 

Cheers,

Kris Kringle.

 

 

[Credits and disclaimer: all photo credits are embedded in the URL for each image: right click on the image to view. Any likeness to any persons living or dead is entirely intentional; no offence is intended and if you take offence you need to harden up. No reindeer were harmed in the making of this post – not if they can fly, anyway. The Surgeon General warns that smoking can damage your health and drinking more than 3 litres of Coca Cola (registered trademark and secret recipe) a day can rot your teeth. Cheers, pplater.]