TimeOut

MEN ARE HAPPIER

What do you expect from such simple creatures?, said Mrs. Cazalea when she asked me said to post this. 

• Your last name stays put
• The garage is all yours
• Wedding plans take care of themselves
• Chocolate is just another snack
• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park (or NO shirt to a water park)

• Car mechanics tell you the truth. 
• The world is your urinal. 
• You never have to drive to another gas station because a restroom is too icky.
• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 
• Wrinkles add character.  

• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them 
• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 
• One mood all the time. 
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 
• You know stuff about tanks.

  

• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. 
• You can open all your own jars. 
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 
• If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. 
• Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. 

• You never have strap problems in public. 
• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. 
• You can wear the same pair of pants until they stand up by themselves.
• Everything on your face stays its original color. 
• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades, as long as the hair lasts.

• You can play with toys all your life. 
• You wear shorts no matter how bad your legs look. 
• You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife or your teeth.
• You can choose to grow a mustache. 
• You can finish Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Dec. 24 in 25 minutes.  

No wonder men are happier !

  

OUT TO LUNCH

• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go to lunch, they call each other Laura, Kate, Sarah
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wild Man.
• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in a $20 bill, even though it's only for $ 32.50
• None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. 
• When the girls get their lunch bill, out come the pocket calculators.

  

  BATHROOMS

• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream and razor, soap and a towel.
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337, and an average man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

  

ARGUMENTS

• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is a new argument.

  

FUTURE & MARRIAGE

• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

  

DRESSING

• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
• A man might dress up for weddings and funerals (if he even attends).

OFFSPRING

• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A man forgets his mistakes; no point in two people remembering the same thing!

Soooooooo much truth in all these!  Thanks for sharing!

....it's about if she farts when you're both together. 

'Wrinkles add character', although to be perfectly honest, the few women that I've found profoundly attractive in life have been equally attractive to me completely irrespective of their age - they remain timelessly beautiful . Cheers, Filip

and as Bill Burr says -a remote and a football game and we are happy creatures! “ hey that’s not holding”