PuristSPro TimeOut forum 'OPEN MIKE NIGHT': 'Men vs Women'
Regards,
Ed
PuristSPro TimeOut forum 'OPEN MIKE NIGHT': 'Men vs Women' PartB
HAGWE everyone!
Ed
...... until the end.
The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis.
They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'
The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?'
'Because I don't want any of those bi..... sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'
And THAT, my friends, is what is called,
'Putting Your Affairs In Order .'
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY...
Women are like phones:
They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.
But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected.
Some words of wisdom
- There is a way of transferring funds faster than electronic banking...it's called 'Marriage'
- I've had bad luck with my wives...the first one left me, the second didn't.
- The most effective way of remembering your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
- My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
- A man inserted an ad in the 'Classified': "Wife Wanted". The next day, he got a reply..."You can have mine."
- First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel."
Second guy: "You lucky man. Mine's still alive."
- After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin...they can't face each other, yet they stick together."
Sam
It would be even funnier if you combined...
I think that
Hey Patrick,
There's a ton of joke emails floating around. Got to post more when I have a chance.
Regards,
ED-209
Guy joke
He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,
“Pick me up..”
He looked around and couldn't see anyone.
He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,
“Pick me up..”
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.
The man said, “Are you talking to me?”
The frog said, “Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me
and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.
I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous
because I will be your bride!”
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked
it up carefully, and placed it in his front pocket.
The frog said, “What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?
I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.”
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,
“Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog.”
That ending
My response to that tale? Eyuccck! (Sorry I don't go that way.) lol Guess it was pretty funny though since the ending wasn't expected.
Cheers,
Helen
