TimeOut

cazalea
[Seiko Moderator]
20750

• Show profile
• Show other posts

More thoughts on Luck

MEN ARE HAPPIER

What do you expect from such simple creatures?, said Mrs. Cazalea when she asked me said to post this. 

• Your last name stays put
• The garage is all yours
• Wedding plans take care of themselves
• Chocolate is just another snack
• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park (or NO shirt to a water park)

• Car mechanics tell you the truth. 
• The world is your urinal. 
• You never have to drive to another gas station because a restroom is too icky.
• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 
• Wrinkles add character.  

• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them 
• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 
• One mood all the time. 
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 
• You know stuff about tanks.

• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. 
• You can open all your own jars. 
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 
• If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. 
• Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. 

• You never have strap problems in public. 
• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. 
• You can wear the same pair of pants until they stand up by themselves.
• Everything on your face stays its original color. 
• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades, as long as the hair lasts.

• You can play with toys all your life. 
• You wear shorts no matter how bad your legs look. 
• You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife or your teeth.
• You can choose to grow a mustache. 
• You can finish Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Dec. 24 in 25 minutes.  

No wonder men are happier !

OUT TO LUNCH

• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go to lunch, they call each other Laura, Kate, Sarah
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wild Man.
• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in a $20 bill, even though it's only for $ 32.50
• None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. 
• When the girls get their lunch bill, out come the pocket calculators.

  BATHROOMS

• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream and razor, soap and a towel.
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337, and an average man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is a new argument.

FUTURE & MARRIAGE

• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING

• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
• A man might dress up for weddings and funerals (if he even attends).

OFFSPRING

• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A man forgets his mistakes; no point in two people remembering the same thing!